Miles from where you are, i lay down on the cold ground, and pray that something picks me up

and sets me down in your warm arms.

Im home. In oceanside. It doesnt feel like home, its rainy cold and depressing. I spent all night laying on my driveway in the rain. I miss you.

Happy 1st birthday Jaxson Malosi Flores!

Jaxson turned 1 today!! We had a BBQ for his birthday on saturday and everyone was there.  I spend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at the Flores' house and it was alot better than i expected. i thought i was going to be sad like last time but i wasnt. i love that family so much i think im just gonna quit school move in there andbe happy! haha just kidding. but anyways i got an email from my baby today so that brightened up my day. i just got home teaching with the missionaries. aah its always the best feeling. i love it.

Rollercoaster Emotions

I am tired of having rollercoster emotions and i want them to stop! im tired!!

Regret

Have you ever felt like anyone has ever regretted you? Like they were forced into having something to do with you? Yeah well its so not the best feeling ever so i urge everyone to not put themselves into situations that they may regret in the future.  Sometimes i wish i could drop everything in my life and run away here to green pastures where no one is and no one cares. For approximately 696 days or until i dont feel regretted anymore, which ever comes first. You know what? I think i will.

I like

when people care.
and don't hate, just love.
i need that. the end.

Hibernation

Hibernation is a state of inactivity and metabolic depression.
This will be me until i figure out my life because i dont want to be judged, hated, or be percieved as someone that im not. When im feeling like myself again, ill come around again. Untill then....Katy

What A Week!!

This week has been pretty great :) Today me and Sydney, Tela, Sarah, and Sarah went and played tennis and it was really fun! We also went to the Northridge/Santa Clarita boys football game today and we lost by one point! Ugh! But it was all in fun so we had a great time.  Tonight is the All Decades Dance so we hope that its gonna be alot of fun! 2 more days until i get an email yay :)

And ive been reconsidering alot of different aspects in my life right now and to tell the truth, im uttely confused in what im doing and i think alot of change isin order.

Katy