Home

Everyone defines home differently. Home to me is wherever everyone i love is. So there is never a set spot. Sometimes it is here, and sometimes it is there. Ive been "at home" for ONE DAY and I already cant wait to get the hell out of here.

My parents have definitely done a great job showing me what I DONT want in a relationship/future, and I thank them for that. But I seriously have no idea how Im going to get through 2.5 months here.

Pure Pain

You know, sometimes people say pain is weakness leaving the body. Bullshit.

Pain is pain. It hurts like a ton of bricks, especially when you do it to someone you seriously love so much and would move mountains for. You know those split seconds when you do/say something terribly horribly wrong? yeah, well I know that feeling.

The absolute worst feeling in the world is hurting someone you love. I did this. And I am so sorry for it. So I deserve to lose you, I just wasn't quite ready for that yet.

I miss you a lot...

Hm.

Yeah I don't know.
It's so confusing.

Lost Without You

Sometimes I wonder what is going on inside my mind. I'm really not sure 99% of the time. But today, I have one word to describe how I feel. Lost. When you lose your rock, time stands still and you leave. I'm gone. I want to be gone. Sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and never wake back up. Everyone just tells me, "Katy, this is life, deal with it." Well in that case, forget life, cuz it sucks without you.

Hurting the ones I love most.

I am seriously on a roll! Newest victim: my dad. I hurt the hell out of him and I seriously feel so bad. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the closest to him out of anyone in my family.

:'(