Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Weekend in the Hospital

In the middle of the night on Thursday, I woke up with extreme pain in the middle and right side of my abdomen. After lying awake for about 3 hours, I fell back asleep. On Friday morning, the pain was still there, so I made an emergency appointment with my regular doctor at UCLA. Before I went, I went to my classes and took a test even in extreme pain. When I went to my appointment, my doctor was extremely concerned I may be suffering from Appendicitis, but couldn't say for sure. An extremely nice nurse from the office walked me to the Emergency Room (and even carried my backpack!). She got me settled and left. I was called from the waiting room within 10 minutes and given a bed. Another very kind nurse came in and started running tests upon tests. He said "You will be here a very long time. UCLA is a slow moving beast, but the BEST slow moving beast around." And boy was he right. He was amazing-went out of his way to make me comfortable my getting me extra blankets, turning on/off the lights, checking on me, and even charging my phone so I could call my mom and dad (who live 200 miles away.) When it came time for my CAT Scan, he gave me warnings on how I would feel and I am so happy he did because I was alone and scared. When the CAT scan came back, there was bad news. I had to have an Appendectomy. I immediately called my family and boyfriend and they were on their way. About an hour and a half later, they had me up about to go into the operating room. At that time my parents hadn't arrived yet, and I was scared and started to cry. The anesthesiologist explained everything to me and distracted me all the way until I fell asleep. I am so grateful to her for that. When I woke up, I noticed that my three incisions were covered with gauze like normal, but they were cut into the shape of hearts. What thoughtful staff helped me get through a terrible weekend in the hospital. Thank you Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center!!

So thankful for my mom, dad, and Jordan who drove 200 miles to be with me. I have an awesome family who held my hand all the way through, and awesome ER doctors!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Weekends in Westwood

Every weekend Jordan drives up to Westwood to spend time with me whenever I dont work. I NEVER thought that this would be the situation that we would be in, and I must say I am a bit disappointed. HOWEVER I am so glad that both of us are more than willing to do whatever needs to be done to make sure we always make time for each other when we can. If we didnt do that, we would have major issues!! Haha. Anyways, we never plan ahead-instead we just say "Uhhhh what do you wanna do?" It always turns out super fun!! We have seen Were the Millers, The Conjuring, And Elysim all which were AWESOME. Last weekend, we decided to go to the LA Temple Family History Center just to poke around on the computers. I made a huge find! I found my great-uncle, great great grandma, and great great grandpa! AND I found out that all 3 are buried in Culver City, California which is 10 minutes from where I live! So of course we went and visited. Family history is awesome! Families are forever and I cannot wait to meet mine one day :)

 Gerald Jacob Carmichael, my 18 year old great uncle killed in the Korean War. So heartbreaking...he left a widow home here in the states.
 My great great grandpa Andrew Jacob Carmichael. My dad remembers him as a funny caring man.
 Margaret H. Carmichael, my great great grandma. My dad said he knew her as his "little grandma" haha. Every woman in my family is sooo little!
 In the Holy Cross Catholic Cemetary in Culver City, California. 8/17/2013.
Random side note: My paralegal school had professional head shots done for us. It works :) Haha

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Hollywood Sign!!

So this past Saturday, Jordan and I decided we wanted to hike to the Hollywood sign. Unknown to us, you CANT hike all the way to the sign anymore. So, we got as close as we could get. We saw some AWESOME views of Lake La Brea and the city. And of course, the Hollywood sign. We made out own fun :) There was a BEAUTIFUL park right under the sign.....greenest grass I have ever seen!  And there were puppies running around which of course made me happy. It was a great day! Only bad part was when we were walking down a super steep hill I ate crap. WHILE HOLDING JORDANS HAND! Who manages that?? Well it hurt. No one saw. But now I blasted this on the internet. Oh well!!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Ever Ours.

Though still in bed, 
my thoughts go out to you, 
my Immortal Beloved, 
now and then joyfully, then sadly, 
waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - 

I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you 
until I can fly to your arms and say 
that I am really at home with you, 
and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - 

Yes, unhappily it must be so - 
You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. 
No one else can ever possess my heart - 
never - never - 
Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. 

And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - 
At my age I need a steady, quiet life - 
can that be so in our connection? 

My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day 
- therefore I must close at once 
so that you may receive the letter at once 

- Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence 
can we achieve our purpose to live together 
- Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - 
what tearful longings for you - 
you - you - my life - my all - farewell. 

Oh continue to love me - 
never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

August 7th, 2013

Today has been especially hard. One year ago, 365 days ago, my missionary returned from his mission. I can remember that day clearly. I was at a camp for work and I was in a daze. I couldnt believe that 200 miles away my missionary was flying into John Wayne Airport where all of his family would be waiting, and I wouldnt be. (I wasnt there because I wasnt allowed, not because I was at work.) For the 2 years prior to that, I dreamed of that day forever. I literally had dreams about it. How would I feel? Would I cry? Would I get a hug? Would I run to him? I loved dreaming up the different scenarios. But at the end of the day, NONE of that would ever become a reality.

I used to think that I would never have true closure from his mission. I saw him off, but would NEVER be able to get this day back. Even a year later I feel upset that I wasnt able to be there.

Now, a whole year has gone by. Things are nowhere near what I thought they would be, and for that, I am very sad.

When do you know when to let go?

Monday, August 5, 2013

I think I'll miss you forever

Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best

I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I'm feeling alive

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

I've got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh, oh

I'm feelin' electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore

I think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later's better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive (drive, drive)