Saturday, August 28, 2010

The wind picked up, the fire spread.

You're everywhere I look. and in my dreams and daydreams. and i miss you. i feel no ambition for life anymore. not in a bad way, just dont wanna go out dont wanna experience anything without you.  this is my freedom. as i hide behind a laptop keyboard, your always on my mind.  I think of what your doing periodically through the day as i see your picture or come across an old text message. i miss you.

when im down i think about the promises you made me because you really have no idea how much they mean to me.  they are all i have left to hang onto.  sometimes when i find myself trying to find someone to blame this on, it often is easy to point the finger towards the church.  of course i know it is not the churches fault, nor anyones fault.  it is an amazing selfless thing your doing to save the futures of others. and as much as i am so excited your doing this, it kills me.  i am so thankful to missionaries for what they have done for me because they essentially gave me eternal life, and i cannot wait to start hearing the stories of the people ur going to help.  but then again i am human and these feeling kick in every so often.  like why cant u be here with me? why cant u call or text me? why cant i hear from you every day? but basically i can go in circles with these questions and the answer will always be because thats the way it is.

I love you.

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