my thoughts...

I have had a crazy past two weeks. Emotions flying, decisions that need to be made, tears, smiles, and laughs. Im not really sure why Ive been so emotional lately, there is no real reason why. I think it is just because I am really missing Jordan. This summer has been really hard, every day that I dont have something to do, I really miss him. Saturdays are the worst...I think it is because every single saturday Jordan and I would be together no matter what. I seriously cannot wait for this summer to be over...which is something I would never normally say about summer! I am so thankful that I get to go back to school early, because I think it will be very helpful in making time pick up again. People always tell me that I shouldnt let a boy dictate my happiness, but forget "people." Jordan is one of the hugest sources of happiness I have. I dont sit around pouting, crying, and feeling bad for myself. But some days, I feel down, and that is only normal when you are in love, but alone. I was thinking, "Instead of counting the days, why dont I just make these days count?" and that is exactly what I have been doing. I have also realized that I have been extremely selfish through my wait. I would always consider myself very unselfish and giving, but last week in RS I realized that I have been so selfish. How could I ever have wished Jordan wouldnt go on this mission? I need him so much, but I know there are people in Virginia right now who have been prepared for him and who need him a whole lot more than I do right now.

GO BABY! DO YO THANG! LOOK AT THAT HAPPY SMILING MAN!!! *heart melts* :)